I, yesterday, may or may not have done something based on the day before and today I intended to do something based on the day before that (or not). Now, as I was starting I realised that it was not what interested me or excited me just then. I discarded that idea and played around with some other ideas and gradually got into the territory and started to get interested and it all came together. I thought it was quite different to yesterday’s (or not) but now I come to process the images I see that it has some similar traits and themes to yesterday (or is completely different to yesterday’s and sharing no similarities in colour, shape, form, structure, etc.) Now isn’t that interesting (or not at all interesting)?
It really hit me today when I was finishing off No221 that I may never see it again. Nobody may ever see it again. I rather liked what I was doing and wanted to share it and get some feedback and move it on with other versions, but I can’t do any of that. In ordinary circumstances if I sell a piece there is a finality to the transaction and I may or may not see the piece again, but then I am settled to it. Not knowing and not being able to talk about it is really weird! Plus I’m only 60%of the way through! And, of course, in the Spring it may all go on the bonfire! It makes me wonder even more about those people who create their work in a vacuum and who don’t share it, expose it, exhibit it and sell it. What a torment that would be!
And it’s not just this aspect of the #Letter365 project that is painful: I have taken on a studio that will be freezing in winter. There was just a sense of it this afternoon. Today was the first time I have worn gloves this season – albeit fingerless ones – but I can imagine that I will be wearing them in the studio soon! More self-inflicted pain!