I had a good day as far as #Letter365 related things are concerned. I made some arrangements for the installation and got my head round some planning and created a nice piece, but there’s always petty stuff cropping up to try and take away. Today I had people threatening to damage my car (and/or me!) for parking outside their house, claiming it was residents’ parking and a private road: none of which is true. Clearly these folk have had problems over some time, and I really didn’t mean to upset them, but it seemed that they had nothing else going on but watching out for people parking in “their” space. I do have some sympathy for them if they have a genuine problem, had I been blocking their car in for example, but there were plenty of spaces. I really didn’t expect threatening behaviour like that in sleepy old Bridport! I tried not to let it take the edge off the good things.
I am so thankful for the acts of kindness people do for each other unbidden and even undeserved. It does so much to restore my faith in humanity and offset all the thoughtless, cruel, carping, greedy and petty things we are subject to each day. I am so often amazed that most people are courteous and wish no harm to others and can often act altruistically and generously.
Today I have been working with a friend who has very generously provided his time, skill, art and ideas to enrich this project. It is interesting how a number of artists and performers have expressed interest in contributing to this project but until today it has just been one person that has turned a little interest into action. Today, while we were working on the project another artist approached me with offers of help in a different way. These acts make it easier to bite my tongue and try to have patience with some of the less generous and thoughtful experiences of the day. And it would be great if some of the previous offers could come good! Fingers crossed!
Well, OK, it is what it says on the envelope. I have never done one of these before. You know by now that despite my innovativeness I am a bit traditional and snooty about some things. Well I have overcome that block in me and No333 is a first!
No332 gets posted in winter sunshine (but actually in the shade!)
In less than 5 weeks I will be rid of this project – well at least the daily making of some artwork from scratch. I might get to explore some of the ideas that have emerged during the daily inspiration and labour. I also may try to remake some of the pieces that will get burned because nobody will buy them. I have just looked through the first three months and there are some sublime pieces. some good pieces and some that are ok. Nothing that I would be ashamed of and, interestingly, a piece I remember doing seems really good now though when I did it I was worried it might be a little trite.
Sometime the smallest of adjustments can make all the difference to a piece of work: adding a line, blurring a colour, trimming. cropping, or whatever is necessary can make it come alive. Sometimes it is easy to see that something is missing and what needs to be done, but it is when you know it is not quite finished but can’t put your finger on the reason that keeps it, frustratingly, stuck in “work in progress”! Luckily I knew immediately what was needed for today’s #Letter365 piece: still not sure for some other pieces I am working on!
I was concerned that having had to finish off my tax return and not being in the best of myself I would: 1. not be able to create anything worthwhile; 2. not be able to tell whether it was any good or not. I think we are fine on both accounts!
It’s sometimes as difficult to get the right balance in a piece of work as it is to create a state of equilibrium in a life. Tension and fragility: stress and strength. Without the long pole it is harder for the tightrope walker to walk erect without wobbling; without peace and principles it is difficult for a life to have stability; without aesthetics and intelligence it is hard for a piece of art to have meaning.
Whatever style or medium I adopt I think you can always recognise my hand and eye in all my work. Perhaps it is because I just regurgitate the same stuff over and over and don’t notice or remember. Perhaps it all looks familiar because I have seen it during the process of construction and recognise it as something I made! I am pretty sure I have never done anything quite like today’s piece, yet it is unmistakably mine.
When things work, down to the last fraction of a millimetre; when I don’t wish I had just angled something a little bit this way or made a space a little thinner; when the colours and tones are exactly what I want: when the balance between calm and agitation is spot on; and all that stuff: then I can say “Oh yes!” And that is particularly important on days like today when I’m questioning value and worth: when my confidence is shaky and the black dog of depression is constantly nagging at my sleeve. I just hope that I am not delusional as well as depressed!
It’s odd how my brain makes me think about things and how I sometimes can feel that some images I create are only of worth to me, that nobody else will be excited or interested. With today’s piece I crossed a line I had been keeping myself behind but wanting to cross before and I have managed to do it in a way that brings together so many of the things I am interested in visually. It is firmly rooted in the work I have been doing over the last couple of years and says much about how I see the artist’s role (as indicated by the envelope message), as well as linking into certain aspects of the history of modern art. I’m delighted with the result and yet there is a little voice in me that says it’s nothing special!
An unfolding artwork created a piece each day for a year
