You know, I really enjoyed making today’s piece. Yes it is satisfying when something goes well, but part of the joy was just because I was making some art. I am getting so little time each day to do art at present that I am going a little nuts! I know it’s important to do all the other things to make a successful show (my #Collage365 show opens next Tuesday at Bridport Arts Centre) and I did take some welcome time out today to spend time with an encouraging and interesting friend, but I would really, really like to just spend whole days just working!
Today I pass the two-thirds-done marker, so it is time to up my game and get organising all the other aspects of this project, but I can just for a moment relax and give myself a little congratulation for getting this far. That is eight months, fresh and unique every day, no cheating, with no breaks and to what I believe is a pretty high standard of work.
I still have this nagging feeling that I might be able to reconnect with whatever it was that I had in mind to write about, but I have an equally nagging feeling that if I remembered what it was I would be disappointed! Whatever it was it was snatched away from me by tiredness and stress and lack of time – a bit like today’s piece was snatched away by an efficient, friendly but in a hurry postie. I never got a chance to get a better picture and hardly know what was going on. It was like reverse Father Christmas: a huddle of people handing over packages to someone who put them in a sack! I was aiming to have a night off and go to the film society, but I just didn’t have the energy. I am doing far too many things that need to be done and far too little time is left for art. Though I have to say that some of that time went in just looking at the piece I created, not looking for faults or checking if something else was needed, but just looking at it, admiringly I suppose. I really enjoy looking at this piece! What that says I don’t know.
Here’s another example of time being spread too thinly. Today I had completed my piece by about 10.45 this morning and yet it’s now 11pm and i haven’t posted to the blog yet. True I didn’t do my final check and review till late afternoon and it was gone 6pm when I posted it. So where has the day gone. I have been busy all day but apart from #Letter365 I have only done one other small piece of art! The rest has been preparation work for my #Collage365 show: picking up work from the framers, gathering label information (had some help here) and a bit of setting up stuff at the studio ready for some viewings. All necessary stuff and I was pretty effective most of the time but so little on making art!
I have written about that moment when you can be afraid to add something to a piece in case you spoil it. I can get quite timid and have to force myself to do what I know in my heart is right. Today I just knew something else was needed and it was plainly obvious what it should be – even to the degree of control and how much leeway for chaos to play. No hesitation. So why so bold today and so timid some other times?
Time and money are two things that no longer seem to spread far enough any more. Admittedly I was up late this morning catching up on the sleep I missed the night before, but the day just disappeared so it was 3pm before I managed to get on the road to drive to Gillingham to at Paul Newman’s show. Now it’s only 43 miles or so but in Dorset that is a drive of over an hour! When I found that Paul was there the time stretched in conversation and so I wasn’t back till gone 8pm for dinner and so it was 9.20 by the time I left for the studio to do my #Letter365 piece. I was happily working away on something at the same time and enjoying the process when suddenly I realised how late it was and I had not photographed my piece. And that is where I got caught out by the clocks. I had not changed my camera back to GMT, so all the photos are dated 2/11/2014 because they were all taken after 11.00pm. But I wasn’t really late, honest!
I am very tired and only had a few hours sleep because I was preparing files for my #Collage365 show last night (and today!). I seriously thought about just finding some bit of paper I may have daubed or scribbled on and signing that, but as it happens I am very pleased with myself that I didn’t weaken and pleased also with the result.
If anyone has been following this blog, they would notice a similarity in each day’s image. Most days there is a snap of my hand holding the day’s artwork encased in its envelope poised at the edge of a postbox’s aperture. I have a collection of many hundreds of such images (I take usually multiple shots in case I mess up in some way). I like the regularity of it. This regular, repetitive process, the same but with individual variables, is at the heart of most of the work I create. It is also at the heart of what Nature creates: my favourite being the ripples on beach sand. At this time of year we notice the leaves on the trees turning and falling. Millions of the same thing but everyone unique. Starlings murmurating. Wildebeest migrating. Crowds of human beings. The structure of crystals. So many things we find beautiful because of repetition given texture by individuality.
I can’t say any more – and anyway it’s late having been out to see Mark Steel at Bridport Arts Centre – but in this case I think it is an idea that works in many sizes. Sometimes I wonder if I have the skill to make bigger – I mean much, much bigger – versions of ideas I make in small mostly I think it’s a little bit of fear and lack of confidence. What I have wondered is why I stuck as stamp on and posted this to a place I visited an hour or two later!
It’s probably just that I am tired and bored with having to spend time in front of the computer. I have been working on some of the things I need to do in preparation for my exhibitions but what I really wanted to be doing is some art! In fact, when I did get to the studio, everything went so smoothly! I didn’t allow myself to say no when I had the urge to work on a larger piece. I am at that point where I need to just concentrate on my art or I’ll have a meltdown – but I have other stuff I need to do.
Don’t ask about the stuff on the envelope. I was so desperate to get away from the computer I forgot to do the envelope and found myself at the studio naked in the envelope department! So it got done this evening when my interest in computers and keyboards has waned even further.
I sort of had a half idea, a sort of just-about-do idea, for today’s #Letter365 piece when I got to the studio. It wouldn’t take me long to do – ah not long if I cut corners – probably no one will ever see it – but that’s not the point – oh that might take a while and may not work – and actually it’s not that interesting unless I do it in a way that probably needs a different scale and different materials – and that won’t fit in the envelope! So I started again and took it and myself seriously. A little trickier than I intended but it didn’t take much extra effort and I have ended up with a piece to be proud of. Along the way I had some thoughts about the original idea and now have some ideas how I could make it work – it will take quite a bit of trial-and-error experimentation but it may resurface later in the project!
An unfolding artwork created a piece each day for a year
