I keep doing things that I would like to see on a monumental size and today’s piece is one of them. Don’t get me wrong, I like what I have done today it’s just that I would like to explore the idea much, much bigger and in different media. I have never really been a painter and never before the last year or so wanted to create large-scale pieces so the idea is unsettling but exciting.
I am a bit pissed off because I lost all the next bit I wrote when my session expired and I want to go and spend time with my sick cat not rewrite this. Sorry.
Only to say that I forgot to take my camera to the studio today and had to record things in a rather ineffectual way and broke my desire to record the whole thing on that camera – not that it matters a jot really.
I couldn’t work out why I was finding it so difficult to do my #Letter365 piece. Despite all my worries and upset about our sick cat and other stuff taking my time, I have been able to get on well in the studio – so why not #Letter365? It got a lot easier when I stopped trying so hard
It quite often happens that I lose confidence on the piece I am doing or am happy enough but fear to take the next step in case bugger it up. Fortunately I mostly tell my self to stick to the plan or go with the flow as appropriate. Today was a stick-to-the-plan day. A few times I had to remind myself that the picture I had in my head would work just great and that I just had to keep on to the end. Of course it was fine, in fact I am more pleased with it that I expected, but I am interested in examining that process where doubt sticks a finger in! It appears as something negative, but it is probably based in a cautionary principle (“mind you don’t waste those materials” or “if it doesn’t work you will have wasted all that time”) coupled with a quality-control vector. If I can link more with that aesthetic quality control when those feelings arise it may be a very useful exercise.
I said above “the picture I had in my head” and yet I am not able to visualise as I understand some people can. I do not and really cannot see a picture in my head as if i were looking at something with my eyes. It is more a feeling that I get. I can feel my way round things and describe them but I don’t see anything. I never have done even though from all the tests I seem to be a visually-biased person. I have never been able to do those creative visualisation or NLP exercises because when I close my eyes I see black or after images mostly. There is a sort of visual process that goes with remembering and imagining but it’s not like a scene which I can view and move through; it’s more like a 3-dimensional diagrammatic feeling!
I am still struggling to come to terms with our cat being seriously ill, but I managed to get on at the studio for a while today and started a big drawing as well as preparing some substrates. I was a bit concerned that my #Letter365 piece was more device than content and didn’t commit to it fully straightaway and left it hanging around for a while before I was able to see it with objective eyes. Now looking at the photos Ii am happy all is well.
It’s perhaps that I am still upset by our cat being unwell that it took me three goes to get a piece good enough. I think that I may have been over critical of one but the other was crap! Well perhaps that is not fair. The piece didn’t work as a finished artwork and I would not have been happy seeing it on my wall or anyone else’s, but It was useful to have tried it and understood why it didn’t work.
The piece I did complete for the project started a bit tentatively – not surprising after two false starts – but turned out well in the end.
Now I have reached the halfway point I need to crack on with all the things that will make the whole project come together: things like this blog’s design and additional content and being able to buy on-line and sponsorship perhaps.
I hadn’t left myself that much time to do today’s piece so hesitated when my idea got superseded by another. Pleased I let myself commit to the inspiration as it turned out quite different to much that I have been doing recently and I really rather like it!
Complete change of tack today for the piece but using this post box (first used yesterday) for the second time. Sometimes I take a gamble and it just works. Today’s did. Either that or it’s total rubbish – but I still would have it on my wall. The “rubbish” thing comes from my preparation for tomorrow. We are going to London to catch the Matisse Cut Outs before it finishes and so I have prepared an envelope – Oh bugger I forgot the stamp on today’s!!!
As I was saying, I have prepared an envelope, now with a stamp on it, and when I gathered together some materials I had an idea to try something tomorrow about which I am quite excited. Of course anticipation is always more delicious than hindsight so I lost confidence in today’s piece in the brilliant light of tomorrow’s as yet unstarted work. Of course, the idea might turn out to be a crock of shit when I actually bring it into being! It could end up in a waste bin at Tate Modern and I will have to start anew.
Having problems with IT again – struggling to get images up from my PC at home. Computers and IT generally are now anathema to me.
On the other hand making art is good for me. Rather than forget that I had stumbled across something interesting yesterday I decided to continue on with it in today’s piece: not that I forged ahead but it is rather lovely.
I say interesting because I thought twice about sticking with today’s piece. I found the results and process very interesting and want to play around with other things in this vein but obviously don’t want to start tweeting images that might give people clues to what I am doing. So yet another thing goes into abeyance – or not!
Today was the first time for ages that I have used sealing wax and I stuck the stamp on sideways which I have not done before.
From the fact that I am looking forward to tomorrow’s piece you should not conclude that I am not happy with today’s. Today’s is just fine. What I mean is that I have an idea for tomorrow’s about which I am really excited. Now it could be that it turns out to be rubbish or I might even forget what I am currently planning or, as often happens, it will take on its own life and develop in a new, as yet unknown, direction. What ever happens I am really interested to see what happens.
An unfolding artwork created a piece each day for a year
